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I’m a male company employee in my 50s. My wife is friendly with our son’s tutorial teacher, who is a good-looking single guy, and they text back and forth through Line.
My wife is often yelled at by my father for my son’s poor grades. She started discussing the situation with the teacher, and they quickly became close. As I’ve never been able to stand up to my father, I can’t defend my wife. However, as she’s the wife of the eldest son, I want her to just bear it.
My wife said: “I wanted to just keep working and not have kids, but your dad kept pushing me to have kids, so I did. And now, your dad blames me for our son’s bad grades. You are spineless. I hate you and your family.”
Even my son said: “I wish the teacher was my dad. He always encourages me and is nice to mom.”
Is there a way to separate my wife from this teacher?
— N, Tokyo
Dear Mr. N:
This is your big chance. Your son really likes that teacher, doesn’t he? As long as your son is taught by this teacher, he will study hard to get praise and your wife will be in a good mood.
Eventually, your son’s grades will improve, and your father will no longer blame your wife. He might even praise your wife, saying, “I expected nothing less from my grandson.” At the very least, there’s a good chance your home life will be more peaceful if the teacher is around.
Yet, maybe the reason you feel troubled is that you think your wife might have feelings for this teacher. It’s obvious why the situation has turned out like this. Do you think your wife can rely on a husband who can’t protect her and just does whatever his father says? And still, you say that she should bear it as the wife of the eldest son. What year do you think you’re living in? Wives nationwide would side with the good-looking teacher.
There’s only one way to separate your wife from the teacher. You have to change. You have to become a son who can talk back to his father and a husband who can protect his wife. This situation has come about because you always do whatever your father says. The good-looking teacher is like a trickster who appeared to shake up your household. Use him well. Now is the time to change.
