What Can I Do about My Granddaughter Who Has Stopped Going to School?

The Yomiuri Shimbun

18:55 JST, July 17, 2025

Dear Troubleshooter:

I’m a woman in my 70s working in agriculture. My granddaughter, a fifth-grade elementary school student, has stopped going to school. She does not appear to have changed but spends all day on her tablet at home.

Her mother and I agreed not to talk to her about school, but even when we try to bring up unrelated topics, she firmly tells us not to talk about school.

Her mother is also talking to counselors at school and a hospital about how to handle the situation. However, she became frustrated because they only tell her to make her daughter go to school every day, even if it’s just for a little while.

Her mother thinks they make it sound easier than it is.

My granddaughter seems to be fine in places where no one knows her. So, I try to take her to go see a movie or sing karaoke on weekends.

As a grandmother, is it enough just to watch over her?

Y, Chiba Prefecture

Dear Ms. Y:

I understand your concerns about your granddaughter, who has stopped attending school. It may be difficult for you as a grandmother to decide how much you should get involved.

However, it’s generally better to support her based on her parents’ wishes than to act on your own.

Why don’t you discuss with her parents about what kind of support you can provide?

The number of elementary and junior high school students who are chronically absent from school has reached 346,000. The government is shifting its focus from making them return to school to ensuring diverse educational opportunities.

More schools accommodate children’s needs, and there is an increasing number of alternative learning opportunities outside of school. Tablets and other devices are being utilized to connect children with society and learning opportunities.

To prevent your granddaughter from becoming dependent on technology, it may be a good idea to take her to the library and other places to read, while respecting her feelings. You could also try cooking and doing household chores together with her.

The important thing is not to force her to do anything she does not want to. I don’t know why she stopped attending school, but she may have had unpleasant experiences with classmates or teachers.

It is also important to let her rest according to her wishes.

Continue to treat her with kindness as usual. Be patient and watch over her carefully.

Naoki Ogi, education commentator