I’m Still Anxious after Forgiving My Cheating Boyfriend, Turning to ChatGPT

The Yomiuri Shimbun

14:22 JST, April 6, 2025

Dear Troubleshooter:

I’m a woman in my late 20s working as a company employee. About six months ago, I found out my boyfriend, whom I’ve been dating for about a year, cheated on me.

I wanted to stay with him, so I forgave him under the condition that he cut ties with the woman. A few months later, he finally told me they had broken up.

However, I found out later he was still in contact with her.

When I asked him, he told me that she’s just a business partner, and there’s no chance of them getting back together.

I tried to convince myself that I’d have to accept their relationship if it was strictly professional.

I truly believed that he really loved me. But since then, whenever I find his behavior even a little suspicious, I surprise myself with how angry I get because I feel so anxious.

Nonetheless, it’s fun being with him, and we’ve had a lot of good memories. I don’t plan to leave him. I want to let go of the anxiety I feel and be at peace.

I don’t have anyone to talk to about it, so I’ve been using ChatGPT to sort through my feelings.

D, Niigata Prefecture

Dear Ms. D:

Your relationship will eventually fall apart if you continue to ignore what you don’t want to see, just so you can feel at peace right now.

As long as he’s nice to you when you’re together, you don’t care what he does elsewhere. Objectively speaking, you’re just a convenient person to him.

I can understand how much you love him, and you do not want to part from him. If that is the case, regardless of how deep your relationship is, why not bring up marriage?

Tell him you want to get married soon. If he takes your feelings seriously and is willing to discuss the future with you, it’s good.

However, if he makes excuses like “I’m still young” or “I don’t have enough money,” then push for an engagement instead. Make a plan to introduce your boyfriend to your parents and for you to meet his parents. Make sure to decide when this will happen.

If he refuses to get engaged or tries to avoid the topic, it’s unfortunate, but you should give up on this relationship sooner rather than later.

A relationship cannot last — no matter how much you love him — if you can’t discuss your future together.

Also, don’t let artificial intelligence dictate your decisions, as it won’t take any responsibility.

Masahiro Yamada, university professor