Calls from My Ex-husband’s Sister — Is It Time to Stop the Relationship?

The Yomiuri Shimbun

11:16 JST, February 1, 2026

Dear Troubleshooter:

I’m a female part-time worker in my 60s. I divorced my husband several years ago after he physically abused me. However, I’ve kept in touch with his elder sister, who encouraged me to divorce him.

I didn’t have time to change my phone number while going through the divorce proceedings, so I still use the same one. As a result, she calls me two or three times a month.

She mostly talks about her health and work and sometimes brings up how my former husband has been doing. I mostly just listen to her talk. I haven’t gone into detail about where I live currently or what I do for work, and she doesn’t ask.

Now that I’ve finally settled down and am considering changing my phone number, I’m struggling with what to do about her calls. She’d be able to get my new number if she asked my daughter for it. I think it would be hard for me to ask my daughter not to tell her.

Should I continue the relationship with her as before, or change my number and end the relationship? What should I do?

— X, location withheld

Dear Ms. X:

Your situation has made me keenly aware once again that divorce isn’t just a matter between two people; it affects their respective families, relatives and friends as well.

The fact that you’re seeking advice from this column about changing your phone number suggests you’re ready to put an end to this relationship and are looking for someone to encourage you to do just that.

Your true feelings are expressed in the phrase “I mostly just listen to her talk.” You’re always answering her calls; you never call her. It’s always the same topics, and you just listen to her talk. Considering her age, I wonder if it’s not so much about her caring for you but rather just wanting someone to talk to.

Every time the phone rings, you’re inevitably dragged back to those bitter memories with your former husband. I understand you’re trying to start a new life but feel like you’re stuck, unable to move forward because someone keeps stepping on the hem of your kimono.

If I were in your shoes, I would send her a farewell letter expressing gratitude for her support. If you decide to do so, please explain your decision carefully to your daughter.

It’s heartbreaking. What your former husband trampled on wasn’t just something physical.

— Hazuki Saisho, writer