My Parents Spoil My Son; I Worry He Doesn’t Understand the Value of Money

The Yomiuri Shimbun

11:03 JST, January 18, 2026

Dear Troubleshooter:

I’m a male company employee in my 40s. My parents, who are in their late 70s, give money to my middle school-aged son at every opportunity.

I understand they want to spoil their grandson since we live far apart and see each other only a few times a year.

However, ever since my son was in elementary school, they’ve bought him expensive toys and given him ¥10,000 every time they meet. I’ve repeatedly asked them to talk to me about it beforehand, but they keep giving him money behind my back.

The last time I found out, I told them that if they give him money again, I would cut ties with them. But they have given him money several more times since then.

I called them, as I was furious, and they apologized, saying that they wouldn’t do it anymore.

My son doesn’t understand the value of money and readily tries to buy expensive trading cards. My wife and I try to explain to him the importance of money every time, but I feel like his financial sense is ruined because of my parents giving him so much money.

How should I deal with my parents going forward?

I, Kanagawa Prefecture

Dear Mr. I:

I understand your concern that giving your son money and expensive gifts might affect his perception of money. In today’s society, where many crimes are committed using the internet and social media, a good understanding of money and financial knowledge are essential for self-protection and survival.

Why do your parents continue giving him expensive gifts even after being told you would sever ties? I assume it is because they want to connect with their grandchild without involving you or your wife and have a pure desire to do something for him.

It seems better to temporarily give up on persuading your parents to keep their promise. Instead, talk to your son honestly about your concerns.

Explain to him: “We want you to develop a strong understanding about money and finances. It’s difficult for children to understand the value of money and expensive gifts and manage them properly. There’s also a risk of becoming involved in a crime. So, for the time being, we want you to always tell us when you receive anything and let us hold onto it.”

In addition, let him know that when he becomes an adult, you’ll give back all the money and valuables you kept for him, and that if he wants to buy something or use it for something before then, he should discuss it with you first.

He’s in junior high, so I think he’ll understand.

As for your parents, you should only occasionally remind them not to give him overly expensive gifts. Also, make sure you tell your parents how grateful you are for the love they show your son.

Naoki Ogi, education commentator