My Gambler Husband’s Debts are Paid off by His Father

The Yomiuri Shimbun

14:37 JST, December 21, 2025

Dear Troubleshooter:

I’m a part-time working woman in my 50s.

I believe my husband, who is around my age, is a gambling addict. To fund his habit, he takes money out of my wallet, withdraws money from our household bank account and borrows money from consumer finance companies. It seems he’s also borrowed money from my father and brother.

He has also managed to convince his father, who is in his 80s, to repay his debts, treating him like a personal ATM.

My husband works only half a week and my income is low, so most of our living expenses — our condominium, car and other daily necessities — are covered by my father-in-law’s financial support. My husband seems to be counting on receiving his inheritance from his father in the future.

I feel terrible for being such a big burden on my father-in-law, and I believe it’s not good to rely on my husband’s father forever. I suggested to my husband about seeking medical help for his gambling addiction, but he got angry and refused to accept the idea. What should I do in the future?

— R, Miyagi Prefecture

Dear Ms. R:

Overcoming a gambling addiction will likely require specialized medical treatment.

Since your husband himself refuses to go to the hospital, you will probably have to see a doctor first. I believe that it is fairly common for gambling addicts to resist going to a specialized medical institution, even when recommended by their family. Such facilities should know how to handle such cases.

Any treatment your husband receives will also require the cooperation of family members. As long as his father supports him by being a personal ATM and is ready to bail him out of gambling debts, your husband won’t become proactive about undergoing such treatment, and probably won’t even be willing to stop gambling at all. You must explain the situation to your father-in-law and ask him to stop giving your husband money in the future.

However, this could also have consequences for you. If your father-in-law’s financial support ends, wouldn’t it become difficult to maintain your current lifestyle? You have to be prepared for that.

“Thinking it’s not good to rely on your father-in-law forever” is a very important state of mind. Deep down, your father-in-law must be worried about his son. Be honest about your resolve and ask him to support you in helping his son overcome his gambling addiction.

— Yoko Sanuki, lawyer