My Brother in His 50s Quit His Job, Struggles to Find a New One 2 Years Later

The Yomiuri Shimbun

16:04 JST, August 17, 2025

Dear Troubleshooter:

I’m a homemaker in my late 50s. Two years ago, my brother, who is single and in his early 50s, quit his job at a construction company he joined right out of college. He currently lives at home with our parents.

He said he got tired of working in the industry, which involves long hours, is physically demanding and does not have many days off. I think he worked very hard for the company for many years.

However, I’m worried he won’t be able to find another job.

Since quitting, he has been job hunting and is focusing on getting a job as a museum curator, a field he studied in college and for which he obtained a certification.

My mother and I expressed our concerns, telling him he was being too optimistic and that, since he is in his 50s, he should look for a job that he has experience in. But he refuses to listen. As expected, he has been repeatedly rejected.

He only uses public employment services. Even though we’ve told him he should register on job search websites or at staffing agencies, he refuses to do so as he’s worried about his personal information being leaked. I think his focus is too narrow.

He helps with our parents’ medical appointments and shopping but does not contribute to living expenses. I visit our parents about once a week, and my brother and I often argue.

How should I deal with him?

C, Tokyo

Dear Ms. C:

I understand your concern for your brother’s current situation as his sister. However, he is an adult in his early 50s who has worked for the same company for many years. With that much life experience, he probably has his own ideas about how he wants to live his life.

Even if you are concerned, if those around him keep offering their opinions, he might feel like their ideas are being forced on him, making it difficult for him to accept those opinions. It may seem harsh, but ultimately, your brother is responsible for how he wants to live his life.

At least your brother seems to be doing what he wants to do, whether it’s about work or taking care of his parents.

If his decisions or actions are concerning those around him, you should tell him what your concerns are specifically and come up with solutions together.

This is not something that only affects your brother, but his family and those around him as well. Keep this in mind when speaking with him.

Yutaka Ono, psychiatrist