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I’m a female office worker in my 20s and have a large birthmark on my face. As an adult, is it wrong if I want my parents to pay for it to be removed?
I spend 30 minutes every morning applying a thick layer of foundation to hide my birthmark. I’m considering laser treatment, but it will cost several tens of thousands of yen per month.
I’ve been saving money since I was a student. I’m wondering if I should have to shoulder the cost of getting it removed, even though it’s not my fault.
I’ve been teased about my birthmark since childhood. When I told my parents about the problem, they told me I shouldn’t get it removed because it would be painful.
I’ve never gone on overnight trips with friends because I don’t want them to see my bare face, and dating is out of the question. My career choices were also limited.
I also resent my parents because I think my life might have been different if they had let me get it removed earlier. But when I consider the cost, I can’t make up my mind about whether to move out of their house.
T, Saitama Prefecture
Dear Ms. T:
If I may talk about myself, my teeth were not aligned when I was a child. I had an underbite, and my lower teeth stuck out further than my upper teeth.
I started to get self-conscious about it when I was a third grader in elementary school, when my classmates teased me. Even when I relaxed my jaw, my lower teeth would naturally protrude.
I used to laugh a lot, but after that, I couldn’t show my teeth when I smiled anymore. Just like your situation, my parents didn’t take me seriously at all.
Once I began thinking about it, I couldn’t stop. I tried to force my upper teeth forward and almost dislocated my jaw. I was unable to eat for a while after that. Even so, my parents still just said I was worrying too much.
The main reason they didn’t let me get it fixed was due to financial reasons, but my father also had an underbite.
I had my teeth corrected when I was in my 40s. I used the money I earned to fix my teeth. While it did not correct my bone structure, I became comfortable laughing with my mouth open.
Even though I was satisfied that I solved the problem myself, I still feel some resentment toward my parents and wish they had let me get my teeth corrected when I was a child.
I know that our suffering is not the same, but when I read that you’ve been steadily saving your money, I felt like we were similar.
Please show this column to your parents and speak with them. Tell them that this is a problem that not only affects your face, but also your mental health, which is important for how you live.
