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I’m a female public servant in my 40s. My family’s pet dog, which we’ve loved for six years, was recently bitten to death by our neighbor’s large dog in our garden. It seems that the large dog escaped from its cage while the owner left it unsupervised.
My daughter, who is in junior high school, heard our dog barking abnormally and ran out to the garden where she witnessed the cruel scene.
I also ran out holding a stick to drive the large dog away, but my husband stopped me, as there was nothing that could have been done to stop the attack.
Since the incident, there has been a dark cloud over my whole family, and my daughter tends to be absent from school due to abdominal pain, the cause of which is unknown.
She often groans in her sleep late at night and isn’t sleeping well. She has also cried and said that she wants to see our dog.
I wonder how scared our dog must have felt and think about how I was unable to save its life. In those moments, I often get teary and wish it was all just a dream.
Even though we eventually would have lost our beloved dog sometime in the future, to part in such a way is too cruel. How can we recover from this?
— E, Ibaraki Prefecture
Dear Ms. E:
I can’t find the words to express my feelings after reading about the loss of your beloved dog, an important member of your family, in such an outrageous way. It hurts me to imagine how you must be feeling.
Did the owner of the large dog apologize to you? It is important that the owner responds properly.
In addition to that, I think it is necessary for you to think about taking care of yourself, your daughter and the rest of your family one by one.
You’re holding onto a sense of guilt for being unable to save your beloved dog, and stress from having let your daughter go through such a heart-wrenching experience. It is important for you to have a place where you can talk about your feelings with a sense of relief and without becoming saddled with the sorrow.
Also, if each family member is experiencing a different degree of mental pain, it may lead to division within your family. If you and your husband are each experiencing a different degree of mental pain, I recommend finding someone you can talk to about the issue other than your husband.
There are grief support groups in many places across the country. That kind of information can also be useful.
Because your daughter has developed physical symptoms including insomnia and abdominal pain, I think it is better to take her to see a doctor specializing in psychosomatic medicine.
Young people may be unable to express their feelings clearly in words. Taking a walk in a natural environment on the weekend with all the members of your family and increasing the time you spend doing something joyful can be helpful for mental recovery.
