I Am Upset About My Sister’s Marriage

The Yomiuri Shimbun

15:08 JST, March 1, 2026

Dear Troubleshooter:

I’m a woman in my mid-20s. I was so close to my sister, who is five years older than me, that I used to go out and spend time with her more often than with my friends.

However, at the end of 2024, she told me that she was seeing someone and was going to move in with him at the beginning of the new year.

I was deeply shocked, as we had never talked to each other about boyfriends because we were too embarrassed. Even after they started living together, I could not accept it and I unilaterally cut off contact with her for a while.

Thinking that they would break up someday, I started to contact her again around last spring. The other day, however, she told me that her boyfriend had proposed and they would hold a wedding this year. I was very upset again and I stopped contacting her again.

Whenever I think that my sister is getting married and possibly having a child in the future, I feel more and more depressed. I don’t even want to attend her wedding. What should I do?

— H, Chiba Prefecture

Dear Ms. H:

It is painful to see your beloved sister leaving you. Your sister must have been very kind to you since you were a small child. The memory of each heartwarming event makes you feel lonely, doesn’t it?

I think your kind sister understands how you feel when you don’t contact her, and doesn’t say anything because she is watching over your growth. So, on behalf of her, I will tell you something harsh.

Right now, you are thinking only of yourself, not wanting to lose your sister. If you had your sister all to yourself, it would make you happy, but would it make your sister happy as well? Imagine this: How would you feel if your sister did not attend your wedding in the future?

I’m sure that your sister wants you to become a person who can feel happy about other people’s happiness. Even if your sister gets married and leaves your parents’ home, family is family for life. If you fall in love, get married and start a family in the future, you and your family will be able to get along with your sister and her family. Your children will also get along well with each other.

To your sister, you are her only sister. Even though you are apart from each other, you two are profoundly connected.

— Akemi Masuda, sports commentator