I Am Surprised by My Mother’s Increased Drinking

The Yomiuri Shimbun

13:43 JST, February 22, 2026

Dear Troubleshooter:

I’m a female office worker in my 40s. I live with my parents and recently noticed that my mother, who is in her late 70s, consumes much more alcohol than before.

Since I work during the week, I don’t know exactly when her drinking began to increase. As far as I know, she starts drinking in the morning and seems to get through almost five cans of low-malt beer a day.

I know that she has always liked to drink but the amount surprises me.

When I asked her about it, she denied that she had been drinking, even though she clearly had. When I pressed her further, she became defiant and said, “I’m not bothering you guys, am I?”

I was shocked to see my normally gentle and kind mother become upset.

My father is elderly and indifferent to family matters. I cannot ask my younger sister for advice because she lives overseas.

I’m also angry at myself for being so oblivious that I didn’t notice the problem. How should I deal with my mother going forward?

— V, Saitama Prefecture

Dear Ms. V:

I’m concerned about your mother’s drinking. We have to consider the effects of alcohol on her mind and body, as she is an older woman. I’m also concerned that she starts drinking in the morning and gets angry when asked about it.

Your mother is likely an alcoholic. It may be difficult for family members to persuade her to rein in the habit. Why don’t you try to get some outside help?

I would recommend you visit a mental health and welfare center run by your local government. It doesn’t have to be the person who needs help when asking for advice; family members are also welcome.

Seeing your mild-mannered mother grow upset must have shocked you. However, please do not blame yourself for being insensitive. Alcoholics, it seems, tend to hide their drinking from their families. It is understandable that you were not aware of it.

Instead, think about why your mother has come to rely on alcohol. Do any reasons come to mind?

I wonder if your mother, who spends her days with her husband, a man “indifferent to family matters,” has few connections outside the home.

When an older person is addicted to something, the problem may lie in their loneliness. Imagine what mental conditions are driving her to drink, and lend a helping hand so that she can shake this addiction.

— Tomomi Fujiwara, writer