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I’m an unemployed woman in my early 20s. I joined a company after graduating from college but left after about a year because of my poor health.
I’ve gotten better since quitting my job and moving back in with my parents. But now, I feel anxious about the future and crushed by the envy I have for those around me who are successfully living their lives.
I lived a comfortable life before I quit. But now I feel that the formula for success I had has collapsed because I left my job. I would have stayed if I had known that something like this was going to happen.
Lately, I don’t even know what I want to do and can’t motivate myself to do anything. Time just goes by, and I feel pain.
I can’t even start looking for a job in this state of mind. I can’t stop thinking about things like why I’m alive or what the point of working is. I hate myself for not being able to move on. Please give me some advice on how to take the next step.
S, Tokyo
Dear Ms. S:
Don’t judge yourself now. Don’t blame yourself and don’t regret the choices you made.
You made a good decision to quit your job. It helped you get your health back in order. There will surely come a day when you think, “That was the right thing to do.”
First of all, cut out the noise around you. Even people who seem to be doing well have their own problems and worries. Try not to be misled by social media and the like, where other people’s lives usually look better than yours.
Right now, you’re stuck as you’re worrying about various things. Try to separate worrying from thinking. You shouldn’t worry about abstract ideas, but instead, think about finding a solution.
Rather than immediately trying to find the right answer, choose something that might lead you to a concrete answer, then think on it.
For example, think about what qualifications might be useful to you in the future. This might lead you to an answer. Or list common jobs, then select the ones you can’t do or don’t want to do. Then you might find some clues from the remaining jobs.
I think that thinking about concrete ideas and then taking action will lead you to the next step.
