I Can’t Feel Grateful to My Parents for Being Born into This World

The Yomiuri Shimbun

11:00 JST, March 22, 2026

Dear Troubleshooter:

I’m a male postgraduate student in my 20s. Although I’m grateful to my parents for raising me, I don’t feel thankful to them for bringing me into this world.

I was born into a privileged environment and never worried about money. I attended the most prestigious university in Japan.

I have friends and mentors I respect and, thanks to their help and my own efforts, I achieved excellent results in my research and extracurricular activities. I’m satisfied, to some degree, with my life so far.

However, I fall into despair when I think about the many problems in my life, such as the structural limitations that have become apparent in Japanese society and my apprehensions about the future. I end up thinking, “How dare you give birth to me in such times.” I pity children yet to be born, and I have absolutely no desire to have children of my own.

Is my anguish just childish nonsense from a student who doesn’t know about the wider world? Or is this something that will vanish if I gain social experience, start a family and have children?

— C, Kanagawa Prefecture

Dear Mr. C:

You seem to have an inkling that what you think is “childish nonsense from a student who doesn’t know about the wider world,” so I won’t add any comment to that. More importantly, please ask yourself why you feel these doubts at this time.

You were born into a well-off family, attended Japan’s most prestigious university and have been able to progress to graduate school. Your research and extracurricular activities have produced impressive results. I think other people would wonder why you are unhappy despite living a life that would be the envy of anyone.

I think that is actually what you have a complex about. You can’t break the rules or live a self-indulgent life. You are aware that such a world exists, but you think you’re not that kind of person.

You feel the temptation to let go of everything and fall from grace, but you’re too scared to take that step. Above all else, you can’t betray your parents.

Go and have some fun. Please go out, have a blast and make some mistakes now while you can, so that in the future you won’t make major missteps.

Talk to lots of people of different ages and various careers away from your university. Go and see for yourself whether your view of Japan is the same as the Japan they see.

As a starting point, I suggest you find a part-time job. I think a job in a field you feel is far removed from anything you’ve done so far would be good.

Now, get out there!

— Hazuki Saisho, writer