My Daughter is Fed Up Living in Single-Father Family, Ran Away to Stay with Her Boyfriend

The Yomiuri Shimbun

11:09 JST, November 30, 2025

Dear Troubleshooter:

I’m a male company employee in my 40s. I got divorced 10 years ago due to personality differences and have been raising my two daughters.

My elder daughter, who is in her late 20s, became financially independent several years ago and lives outside the prefecture with her boyfriend. I currently live with my younger daughter, a high school student, but she suddenly left home and has been staying with her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend is around the same age as my daughter and helps with the family business. His mother contacted me, saying that my daughter was staying at their house and tearfully confided how difficult life can be in a single-father family. His mother told my daughter that she could stay for a while.

A week later, the four of us — me, my daughter, her boyfriend and his mother — had a talk. My daughter insisted that she did not want to return home. Her reasons included feeling lonely living with me, finding helping with chores difficult and feeling that I’m too strict when she is late for school or skips it altogether. However, she said she still would graduate high school.

I had been making lunches and lending an ear to her, with some help from my parents. I’ve been strict about her attending school.

I just don’t understand how this happened. What should I do?

— T, Wakayama Prefecture

Dear Mr. T:

Raising children alone must have been hard. You’ve been strict to your daughter probably because you want her to grow up.

Even if you have the authority as a parent, trying to forcibly bring her home will likely only worsen the relationship.

The positive side is that her boyfriend’s mother lives with the young couple. I recommend that you create another opportunity for all four of you to discuss things again. If your daughter says she won’t return home, let her promise in front of everyone that she will graduate from high school no matter what and keep in occasional contact. Then, suggest providing her with some money for living expenses.

Even if your daughter feels comfortable and close to her boyfriend and his mother now, their relationship could change due to future troubles. If that happens, please accept her again without scolding her.

As for your mindset, think of this as your daughter becoming independent a little earlier than you expected. You could also take a break from your role as a father and view this as an opportunity to think about your future relationship with your daughter and her partner.

— Masahiro Yamada, university professor