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I’m a woman in my 60s. I was affected by the earthquake that hit the Noto Peninsula on New Year’s Day.
My house was severely damaged. I had no access to water, electricity or food immediately after the quake and had to spend whole days standing in line for supplies.
My mother, who was staying at an evacuation shelter, died suddenly. My father had already died, and I didn’t get to see my mother after the quake because I was busy cleaning up.
I’ve been married for more than 40 years. Even when I was struggling with the family business and living with my in-laws, I tried my best not to worry my parents. But they are dead now.
I’ve seen many greedy and thoughtless people at the shelters and elsewhere. Recently, I saw visitors taking pictures of places where people had died. It made me livid.
Young and old people alike depend on me because I’m in that age group in the middle. They think I’m “cheerful” and “fine.” However, I’m filled with emptiness, anger and negative emotions.
I’m having a hard time, both physically and mentally.
F, Ishikawa Prefecture
Dear Ms. F:
You must have encouraged and supported the people around you so much with your cheerful and energetic appearance. But if you continue to suppress your true feelings, you will break down. You must have already reached your limit in terms of how much physical and mental stress you can take.
You need to take a break from that cheerful and energetic attitude. Find a place or person that allows you to say that you are having a hard time.
You should seek advice from your local government, but that might be difficult to do in the wake of a disaster.
Is it possible to talk to your family about your current state of mind and ask them to be on your side? If not, then you need to look after yourself.
You should say that you are having a hard time and can’t keep this act up anymore. You should reduce your daily routine to make time for yourself. You have that right because you’ve been working so hard.
Please don’t give in to the silent pressure from other people to think everyone is having a hard time. All of your efforts would come to nothing if you have a breakdown.
How about writing a letter to your deceased parents? Write about the pain you are going through as well as the pleasant experiences you’ve had. I hope the memories will support you and help you through your current adversity.
